Avoid Hell
Avoid Hell
By: jbhthescots@mac.com, Categories: Words & Images, 8 comments



There’s nothing like an entertaining Sunday afternoon milling around outside the Buchanan Galleries shopping mall, listening each week to this Bible-thumper giving it the full fire and brimstone treatment as he rails against all those disrespecting the Sabbath by non-stop shopping.  And as he belts it out, he always reminds me of a story from a comedian and another past pastor of this parish.


The story comes from the late great Irish comedian Dave Allen about a Protestant preacher similarly working himself up into a fine state as he outlined the horrors of Hell, where, he thundered, there would be ‘WEEPING AND GNASHING OF TEETH’.  Whereupon an old woman down the front interrupts, ‘But what about me? I haven’t got any teeth.’  ‘TEETH,’ replies the pastor, ‘WILL BE PROVIDED.’  Time has conferred the tale upon the late Reverend Ian Paisley, a liberty which nevertheless  emphasizes that there is something inescapably ridiculous as well as threatening about extremism and bigotry.


But that nicely segues us to the pastor from the past, the late fundamentalist Scottish preacher Pastor Jack Glass, leader of the Zion Sovereign Grace Baptist Church in Glasgow, the man who thought Paisley was a bit too liberal for his liking. He was certainly as loud as Paisley: one less fierce Scottish cleric remarked that an encounter with Jack left him with ‘Protestant tinnitus for at least three days.’  I can certainly testify to this, because during the late 1970s and early 1980s, I witnessed him pavement preaching at an alarmingly high decibel rate from nearby Sauchiehall Street.


The Pope, of course, was a top target: Jack was renowned for marching around St Peter’s Square in the Vatican City in 1966 with a placard proclaiming – and only Jack would have had the chutzpah for this – ‘No Popery here!’ Another target with a special place reserved for him in Hell was comedian Billy Connelly, whom he picketed over a period of some 30 years after taking exception to Connelly’s conceit of setting the Last Supper in a Glasgow pub for his early and raw stand-up routine ‘The Crucifixion’


Leica M3 & 1.4/50mm Summilux pre-asph v2

Sekonic L-3086

Ilford FP4+ (200)

HC-110 (Dil. B – 12 min)

Vuescan & Plustek 7600i



  • Sunday is not the Sabbath. He should study more.

    • In Scotland, for Christians, Sunday is the Sabbath.

      • You mean to say that in Scotland, the US, and much of the world many Christians observe the Sabbath on Sunday. But if one wants to apply Old Testament law, like your street preacher clearly does, then that would require adhering to God's Law that named the 7th day the Sabbath. That is Saturday. If he's going to Bible thump, it seems necessary to do that accurately. 🙂

  • I'll bring bourbon and good cigars, for a nice, long chat.

    • They'll certainly give you a long chat on it - but it won't be nice, and they won't take to kindly either to the cigars or the bourbon. I, on the other hand, would gladly accept such offerings!

  • "Even the coffee is cold! They thought of everything! " caption of a Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson.

  • Correction :
    "Oh, man! The coffee's cold! They thought of everything!"